596

Back from a trip to hometown and again I'm here.

P.S. God damn it! She is really challenging me as if I'm a mean ruthless person who has no right to control her damn group the way she likes! The fuiest part is, she doesn't know she is actually talking to the boss!

But truth is, I'm nothing. According to what she said, I need to make amends with God, so maybe he puts something into my plate! I wish I could ask God, is it fair? That my dad and the whole family is drawning under debt and I'm really helpless at finding someone to go to and ask for money for the f..ing french class I want to attend, not considering how much I'm desperate for taking an en class and I can't even think of it and I have to work as a student for 1000 toman an hour because I don't have the damn money even to take a taxi from uni to metro station and you know! Damn it! There must be a good reason why God doesn't consider me as someone who needs his consideration!

Let it go. That really made me sad. Why of all people, I'm the bad guy?

I've been watching suits all day, I really shouldn't watch drama cause I just start feeling like I'm like this guy or that guy and it makes me sick!

I saw a picture of those three girls that had attended acm on behalf of the uni last year under supervision of damn Mr. Occasion, and for a second I thought how much I want to be there like them... I even thought of making it right again with Zahra to get her back to play, but then I thought who cares, we will never be there and we won't have any chance, just like all other things I screwed up, this is not goa end up right.

I wish I could watch another episode and get the hell away from my thought, but I can't.

I'm really desperate, you know?

I wish I had a Harvey, like Mike.

+ نوشته شده در دوشنبه بیستم شهریور ۱۳۹۶ساعت 9:52 توسط خانم مهندس بعد از این |